How to Please a Man
Do you ever wonder what makes some women great lovers? For many, bedroom satisfaction is a confidence issue that comes down to one question: "Am I doing it right?" But the real question is, are you doing it right for your man? Whether your partner is new, temporary or your partner for life, your best bet for bedroom bliss is covering the basics first. If you want to improve your sexual technique, set aside some time with your partner to talk over what he likes in bed (preferably over latte or a glass of Merlot rather than under the satin sheets). As a sexologist, I can assure you that the more you know, the better a lover you can be. Need some help getting started? Here are three surefire tips for pleasing any man in bed. Take a look at the techniques described below, then bring these ideas to the table when you talk to your man about your sexual wishes. Want to please him?
Sexy Talk
Many men report that they would like their partner to learn how to talk dirty. It can feel very awkward to use language in the throes of your passion that make you wince on the street. But using sexual slang can be a vital turn-on for your lovemaking forays.
Technique Tips
I used to run workshops for sex educators. One activity in those workshops included a small group activity on sexual terms. Each of the five groups was given a large newsprint paper with a technical term written at the top, such as breast, penis, vagina, sexual intercourse, buttocks and oral sex. In five minutes they wrote on that sheet all of the slang terms they could think of (without censoring). After each group had completed the exercise, one by one, each group chanted out loud all the terms. If there was one term that they sort of choked on saying, they repeated it. After saying them all aloud, in front of the rest of the workshop participants, everyone in the room was howling and had become comfortable with sexual language of all kinds. You can practice something similar alone or with your sweetie to get comfy using "dirty words."
Another great way to become de-sensitized to the sting of certain words is to watch adult films. Most porn videos use sexual slang, as those words provoke arousal in male viewers. Claim the power of sexual talk for your own gain. Use sexual talking to add tension and playful energy to your erotic connection with your lover, and you'll experience an improved level of sexual response for you both.
Top Tip
Try saying the words aloud to yourself in the mirror before you practice them with your partner.
Personal Hand-iwork
If there's one thing that you probably never learned in health classes at school it's how to touch the most private parts of a man. You may have learned about the shapes, parts and tubing in Anatomy 101, but I'll bet you never learned how to please a man by using your hands on his genitals. This skilled handiwork can be your best ally in bed, especially when you are tired or not in the mood. Sharing this intimate moment without having to engage in more intense sexual pleasure is a good option, especially if you are new to sex, newly involved with this lover or ambivalent about going further with this partner. Even for long-term married couples, a quick finger-dance can bring joy to your relationship with minimal effort.
Technique Tips
Many men enjoy being touched sensually on their penis and scrotum (the sac that contains the testicles). The male's sexual anatomy really includes more than just the penis. Yes, men often enjoy being stroked, rubbed, or caressed, gently or hard, up and down, on their penile shaft, the head of their penis (corona), at the little hot spot on the underside of the penis where the foreskin folds together (frenulum), or along with the flat ridge between where the scrotum hangs down and the anal opening. Some men find ecstasy being touched on the anus or even having a finger probe internally for a prostate massage.
Just as with any sexual practice, ask your guy what works for him. If you don't feel comfortable talking openly about it, then watch for physical signs and cues. Men often find great joy from having a hand around their penis, or fingers stroking just the head of it or even a little tickling on their testicles. As you continue to manually stimulate him, you may notice that he is getting harder, longer and that his testicles are lifting -- all signs of arousal. Those are your messages that what you are doing is working. If you want to get more sophisticated with your manual touch, explore him with different styles of touch: hard, soft, light, circular, up and down, lightly using fingernails, using a silk scarf, dry or with a personal lubricant, whatever comes to mind. The goal is not necessarily an orgasm, but to provide sensual pleasure. Ask him, again, if he wants you to complete this as a sexual act, releasing him to orgasm, or just tease him for more pleasure later as you progress.
Top Tip Going beyond the penis and caressing more of his body parts (the shaft, scrotum, anus and more) might mean more pleasure for him -- and more satisfaction for you. |
